What If?
by rebafanatic
Summary: PG maybe for later chapters. Reba and Brock both reflect on current incidents. Just read it I can't explain it. Oh and if u review I'll love ya for life :)
1. What ifbroken

I dont own 'REBA' tear or anything else related to it tear...sobs

This is just something I thought of for no reason. If you like then review, if you don't well you can review as well or just go on your merry way :)

**What If The Only Person Who Can Fix Your Broken Heart, Is The One Who Broke It?**

After the divorce I thought things would get better. I mean, Brock and I did nothing but argue the last few months of our marriage. It seemed to him divorce was the only way out. What could I do but agree.

But now, I am alone. Broken hearted with no one to lean to. Sure I have friends but none close enough to go to like this. They would try to make me feel better by keeping me busy and going out. But I don't feel, I don't need that right now.

I'm all alone and broken hearted.

I wish I had him back. If only for one day, if only for one night. I wish that I could be back in his arms tonight. It won't happen. I know now that it will never happen.

Because he is not alone, not like me. He has some one to be with, someone to hold.

He is, as far as I know, happy and comforted.

Never wondering where he fits in in life. He fits in with his wife and baby boy.

He also leaves me with one question. A question I both long and fear the answer of.

What do you do.....what if the only person who can fix your broken heart, is the one who broke it?


	2. What if it wasnt the only way to go

Still don't own them, it whatever.

**What If It Wasn't The Only Way To Go?**

I was sitting at home with my wife. We were watching one of those hour long drama shows. Something I don't normally do, but lately things have been different. I've found myself thinking, even dreaming of the past. Though I don't dare tell Barbra Jean, God knows she'd freak.

I find myself thinking how different every thing would have been if I had never left. If I had been honest in the theropy. Would she and I still be together, or wouldn't it have mattered?

What if we had worked things out between us? Would we be the family we used to be? God knows I still love her, but I love Barbra Jean, I can't leave, not again.

Remembering the past and thinking of this makes me wonder, divorce was the easiest way out but....

What if it wasn't the only way to go?

Before Barbra Jean, I often wondered what would've happened if I showed back up at that house. She would have been furious, or would she? I can't truely find an answer for that.

Sometimes, when I call her to talk to the kids, and briefly talk to her it almost, almost seems as if she to wanted to go back to how it was before. Or is that just my mind playing tricks on me. If it were true though, we both know that it could, would, never happen.

I broke a home, and a heart, before, I am not about to do that again. But what if I were to _fix her _heart? Would that make up the shattering of another? NO. Stop thinking like that. I made a choice and I must live with it. I can't and WON'T do it. I love Barbra Jean. I can't do that to her. But what I can do is just wonder.....

What if it wasn't the only way to go?


	3. What if i never let this go

Yep I dont own them, not yet anyways ;)

**What If I Never Let This Go?**

They're going to split up! They're going to be seperated. How could this have happened.

But isn't this what I wanted just before? To have him back in my arms. Now is my chance. But I can't. That would be to selfish of me. He has his own life and family now. Not to mention it would change everything here with the kids.

Earlier That Day

I did something incredibly stupid this afternoon. He came over all worked up, yelling and flailing his arms about. Fed up with his behavior I told him to leave and he refused. Not until we settled things between us.

Not good, I should have noticed. I should have made him leave, but I didn't. Why didn't I, I should've seen it coming. That's when he said it.

Best friend. That did it. Of all the things he could've said he had to say, best friend. That's what I thought we had been until...

That's when I did it. He was upset and depressed and I jumped at it. I had him back in my arms, if only for that one moment...

Then it dawned on my crystal clear. He's married, and not to me. Not anymore.

So I had to let him go.

I did something very stupid this afternoon. I let my walls down and, even if it was only on my side, let him back into my heart. Wonderful, but stupid.

What if I never let this, him, go?


	4. What if there's two?

What if there's two?

I never thought it was possible before now. I never knew that you could love two people at once. But that's where I find myself today. Torn between two.

The divorce was a mistake. One I regret making but...but does that mean that my marriage was a mistake as well? I love Barbra Jean, our marriage can't be a mistake but..sometimes i wonder. Which place do I belong?

Here. I belong here with my wife and boy.

Still it makes me wonder. If one was mistake, how does the other stand?

Finally found a flaw in my mother's reasoning. The more is not the merrier. It's more complicated, that's what it is.

Barbra Jean loves me, this is where I will stay. She figured part of it out though. I'm not sure how she actually put it all together. She knows something has been on my mind. I hope she doesn't find out, it would brake her spirit so.

She found out. How, I don't know. She's asked me to leave so I have. I'm staying at the old condo. Life couldn't be better. I spilled to Reba as well so now she's avoiding me too.I went from two to zero. Selfishness. That's what she said, and she was correct.

Okay so its not the best thing you've ever read but hey. No one else writes or updates them glare so you're stuck with my poor excuse of a fanfic. Well, its okay, I guess. Please review! I dont care if u hate it. hugs


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